The 21 stages of a narcissist relationship with an empath takes you right through the full cycle of abuse, from start to finish.
Empaths are pure souls who love unconditionally. They’re natural over-givers who cannot comprehend that there are people on this planet who are the polar opposite of them. They feel everything on such a deep level and often internalise outside problems and take them on as their own.
Enter the narcissist. An entirely conscienceless being who solely runs from a self-serving agenda. Narcissists are extreme manipulators and are in the business of taking, without ever giving anything in return (unless it serves them in some way).
Unfortunately, empaths fall prey to the tricks of the narcissist so frequently that it’s actually heartbreaking.
Let’s explore empaths, narcissists and the relationship that so often ensues.
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The Empath and Narcissist Relationship
What is an Empath?
An empath is someone who was born with the ability to feel the emotions and energy of others as though they were their own.
What they experience goes beyond that of simply knowing what someone else is feeling or just having sympathy towards others. Empaths actually feel other people’s stuff within their own bodies, through their own nervous system.
Before empaths come to the awareness of who they are, the intensity of their feelings can be completely overwhelming at times.
What they don’t yet realise is that many of their feelings are actually other people’s and not their own. Until that point, they just feel like an oversensitive soul, who must have something wrong with them to be feeling so much.
Being an empath can feel like a curse until they learn how to shield themselves from taking on the pain of other people and bearing it as their own. However, once the empath learns how to hold their own energy, it can become a beautiful thing. Empaths are able to experience what it truly means to be a human, on such a deep level.
Empaths are natural over-givers and healers.
Empaths are naturally connected to their higher selves and the divine source of all that is. Even an unaware empath will have a strong sense of intuition and that there is something higher, beyond this reality.
Along with that, empaths are natural givers, healers and listeners. People organically gravitate towards empaths because their calm, giving nature is energetically healing.
Empaths regularly find themselves depleted because they give so much to other people, often without realising it. They must learn the importance of giving to themselves first, then they can selectively give to those who are deserving of it (i.e. those who are authentically growing on a personal and soul level).
At first this will seem selfish to the empath, but they will come to learn that we are each responsible for our own journey.
What is a Narcissist?
A narcissist is someone who unconsciously severed the connection with their higher-self and divine source at an earlier stage in life.
They could not stand the painful inner wounds of abandonment, rejection and shame (due to childhood trauma). So, they disowned the part of themselves, which was responsible for making them feel those things – their True Self.
Without their True Self, they are now only left with their ego running the show. For the narcissist to be able to psychologically function in this world, their ego has created a False Self. The job of the False Self is to protect them from the awful truth (which they rejected long ago), that they are flawed human beings, just like the rest of us.
The False Self is a fractured self, which cannot accept both good and bad aspects. So, it has chosen the path of superiority and entitlement as its false reality.
Narcissists function by constantly taking from others in order to alleviate the pain of their empty black void.
The False Self is now the narcissist’s false god. They do not believe that there is any power higher than themselves, which is why they expect others to idolise them and that the laws and rules here do not apply to them.
In other words, the narcissist only has the resources to accept a reality where they are superior, perfect and amazing. They utterly refuse to acknowledge any parts of themselves, which are flawed or imperfect in any way.
The problem with the narcissist’s delusional world is that it doesn’t actually exist outside of their own mind. The only way for them to make it real in their outer world is by getting constant validation from others, confirming for them that their world really is ‘real.’
They do this by seeking continual attention and admiration, which is why appearances are so important to them. Another way for them to gain validation is through arguments, chaos, drama and control. Those things make them feel extremely important and powerful, which serves to confirm to them that they do actually exist.
| READ: What is Narcissistic Supply? → |
Why Do Empaths Attract Narcissists?
You can see how vastly different empaths and narcissists are. So, how is it that these two polar opposites are so often attracted to each other?
On an energetic level, what the narcissist is constantly seeking is the life force energy of others because they don’t have any access to that themselves. When they cut off their True Self, they also cut off their own access to the divine life force.
That life force energy is the only true band-aid for the gaping empty void, which is left in the place of their True Self. However, the void is nothing but a black hole, which can never be filled or satiated.
Anything that feeds the narcissist with attention or energy is called ‘narcissistic supply.’
Empaths have an abundance of life force energy as they are so connected to source and their inner being. They generally operate from a place of genuine love (not to say that they’re perfect), plus they live with an open heart.
Empaths like to see the good in people and cannot even comprehend that there are people out there intentionally manipulating and using others for their own personal gain. Sure, they are aware that there is bad in the world, but they believe that the vast majority all come from a place of authenticity, just like them.
The thing is, there is nothing authentic about a narcissist. Their whole life is an illusion based on a false reality created by a False Self. They are pathological liars who operate via manipulation, gaslighting and bullying on a daily basis. But because they do it all with a charming smile on their face, it can be extremely hard to decipher.
Narcissists are masterful manipulators. They are a true devil in disguise.
You can think of a narcissist as an energetic vampire, sucking the life force out of others to feed their black hole. Then when each person is depleted, they discard them in place of another who’s still got plenty of life force for them to extract. And on the cycle goes.
The thing is, no one in their right mind is going to simply hand over their resources and energy to a dark, empty soul. So, for the narcissist to get their drug, they need to manipulate others to willingly hand it over without them ever realising what’s going on.
This is where the narcissist totally charms the empath, giving them a false idea about who they are.
The narcissist studies the empath during the idealisation (love bombing) phase, to find out what their deepest wounds and insecurities are. They safely store this information away for future use.
The narcissist will appear to be all of the things that the empath has always been looking for. Someone who truly sees them and can reciprocate the amount of love that they freely give to others (but rarely receive back).
The narcissist will mirror back to the empath their own empathy, kindness, love and compassion, pretending that they also embody those things. However, in reality, the narcissist doesn’t have a conscience, therefore they can never truly experience any of that. It’s all a manipulation to trap the empath.
Once the narcissist has hooked the empath, they will cycle through their abuse system, chipping away at the empath’s self-worth and independence, all while emptying them out of their life force energy.
| READ: Full Cycle of Narcissistic Abuse → |
The empath simply cannot fathom that this person isn’t genuinely good at heart, so they give the narcissist the benefit of the doubt, over and over again.
The only way for the cycle to come to an end is when the empath is truly empty and the narcissist discards them for a fresher source of supply. Or, the empath manages to wake up from the illusion, learning that not everyone is authentic and loving. Least of all, the one person who truly professed to love them above all others.
No one (not even an empath) can heal or fix a narcissist. The only true cure is for them to restore their connection with themselves and take full responsibility for all of the unhealed parts within. However, due to the very nature of the disorder, healing is a near impossibility.
What is the Purpose of the Empath and Narcissist Relationship?
Going through a narcissistically abusive relationship can be one of the most soul-crushing experiences to endure. Especially given that the abuse is so insidious, underhanded and hidden.
For an empath to spend months, years or even decades handing their life over to someone who was only ever holding them there through deceit, is an utter betrayal on the deepest of levels.
However, there is actually a deep spiritual purpose behind the empath and narcissist relationship. It’s all about the empath finding their way home to themselves.
Does that sound like a messed up and confusing way to have to go? It sure felt like that for me when I was dragging myself through it, so I hear you! But it really is the truth and I’d like to explain why.
Most empaths are codependent, which means they’re looking outside of themselves for the love, validation, security and survival that they seek. You can almost bet that they had their own share of childhood trauma, whereby they learnt that for themselves to feel okay, they had to make sure everybody else felt okay first.
A huge reason for empaths over-giving and trying to fix everyone else is because they deeply feel the pain of those around them. Therefore, as a survival mechanism, they learnt that to stop feeling all of that pain, they had to fix the other people.
The empath learnt to take on the emotional responsibility of of everybody else around them.
Narcissists are defective beings who refuse to take responsibility for themselves. They actively dump all of their unwanted and unfelt wounds onto anybody who will take them.
The narcissist sees the loving, giving empath and wants them as their own. Not because they truly see them and love them, but because they see how much they can get from them. They see how easily the empath is to manipulate and regulate using emotional blackmail.
From there, a toxic relationship plays out where the narcissist continuously takes the energy and resources of the empath. Meanwhile, they’ll breadcrumb just enough of the empath’s own love back to them to keep them on the hook.
Whenever the empath stands up for themselves or pushes back against the narcissist’s abuse and demands, the narc will shame them and accuse them of being callous, uncaring and immoral (all of the things the narcissist is).
Piece by piece, the empath hands all of their power over to the narcissist. The narc makes the empath believe that they are their only source of love, validation, security and survival.
However, it’s all a total inversion designed to keep the empath trapped. The narcissist is actually terrified that the empath will find out that the opposite is true. The empath has always been the powerful one and the narcissist needs the empath for their survival.
As the narcissist locates all of the empath’s deepest wounds, they intentionally rip them open and rub salt into them. All are designed to trigger and control the empath so that they can extract huge amounts of life force energy from them.
The soul growth comes when the empath begins to wake up to what the narcissist really is and what their true intentions are. Regardless of how the relationship ends (usually devastatingly), they now have the opportunity to turn this whole ship around.
The purpose of the narcissist in the empath’s life is for the empath to become aware of the dangers of seeking love, security, validation and survival from outside of themselves.
Now that the empath has been shattered into a million pieces, it’s time for them to turn inwards and realise that all of those things can only ever truly come from within.
The real healing comes when the empath learns to release each trauma from their body, which the narcissist was so expertly able to locate. There is no time limit for this process, it takes as long as the soul needs it to take.
There is no right or wrong, as all paths lead home.
Piece-by-piece the empath puts themselves back together, stronger and more sovereign than ever. They come home to their own inner being and become their own source of self-love, self-validation, security and survival. Never again will they ever hand their power over to anybody else, least of all an empty, fractured and conscienceless being.
If the empath hasn’t learnt all that they need from the empath and narcissist relationship, they will continue to repeat the same patterns again with other narcissists, until they’re ready to ascend beyond the cycle.
21 Stages of a Narcissist Relationship with an Empath
There are said to be 21 stages of a narcissist relationship with an empath.
It could be argued that these are the same stages that everyone in a narcissist relationship goes through. However, I believe the depth of this particular relationship runs deeper with the empath due to their over-giving nature, as well as their energetic and compassionate abilities.
Let’s explore the stages of an empath and narcissist relationship.
Stage 1: Attraction
The narcissist attracts the empath by appearing to offer all of the things that the empath has always been unconsciously seeking – love, validation and approval.
This is the phase where the narcissist idealises (love bombs) the empath in order to gain the empath’s trust. Love bombing can include extravagant dates, passionate sex and deep and meaningful conversations that go on for hours. How this phase looks will be dependent on the type of narcissist, plus it will be tailored to what will attract the empath the most.
What the narcissist is really doing during this phase is studying the empath to find out what their deepest insecurities, hopes, dreams, fears and desires are. They’re collecting data for future use.
| READ: Dating a Narcissist (17 Effects) → |
Stage 2: Deception
The empath feels like finally they’ve found someone who truly sees and loves them. They are falling for the narcissist with a love that’s unconditional.
Unfortunately, the narcissist is incapable of love and everything in their world is steeped with conditions. They are just temporarily giving the empath what they so desire in order to hook them into their toxic web.
What the narcissist sees in the empath is someone who’s extremely giving, kind-hearted, compassionate and caring. It’s not that the narcissist values any of these qualities, however, they instinctively know how much the empath will give and give to them, without asking for anything in return.
It’s all about what the empath can do for the narcissist – never the other way around.
The narcissist creates a grand deception, making the empath think they’re soulmates and that the special bond they share can’t possibly be found with anyone else.
To achieve this, the narcissist will mirror back to the empath all of the things, which they know they seek. They’ll pretend to have the same interests and morals, showcasing that they’re made for each other.
Little does the empath know, it’s all an illusion being played out by a master manipulator.
Stage 3: Manipulation
As the relationship progresses, the narcissist will begin to devalue the empath in such an underhanded way, that the empath will not even realise that they’re slipping into an abusive relationship.
The narcissist slowly crushes the empath’s self-worth and independence in order to control them.
Any ‘nice’ comments the narcissist makes will mostly be sandwiched beside a put-down or invalidation. Over time, the empath will begin to feel anxious, insecure and as though they’re not able to do anything without the narcissist helping them.
The narcissist will step in and appear as the saviour to the empath and make them feel like they need the narcissist for their own survival in the world. They feel like the narcissist is their rock as they become (are manipulated) to feel more and more dependent on the narc.
This big wide opening was intentionally created by the narcissist. They need the empath to feel incapable and worthless without them, which gives the narcissist the ability to take control.
Stage 4: Control
By this point, the narcissist has made themselves the centre of the empath’s universe. Now they will slip into a role of victimhood, playing on the empath’s desire to want to help other people.
They will monopolise the empath’s time, energy and headspace, making sure that they are constantly the focus of the empath. There will be continual illnesses, dramas and chaos whereby the narcissist silently demands that the empath takes care of them, makes them feel better and solves their problems for them.
Ultimately, narcissists lack the resources or desire to take full personal responsibility for not only their actions but their energy as well.
They have effectively set up the empath in the role of Care Giver, without the empath even realising it. The empath still believes it’s a reciprocal relationship built on love, trust and teamwork.
Since empaths are natural givers of care, love, compassion and life force energy, the narcissist has basically won the narcissistic supply jackpot!
However, nothing is ever enough for a narcissist. They will never appreciate all that the empath does for them (physically, mentally and energetically). It’s merely expected of the empath to hand over all of their abundances because the narcissist lives in a false reality where they’ve painted themselves as a superior god.
On top of that, the narcissist does not have their own access to life force energy because they severed the connection with their True Selves years ago. Now, they live a life built upon manipulation so that they can steal it from others.
Stage 5: Defeat
The empath begins to feel defeated. They don’t understand why they never seem to be able to help the narcissist heal. They help and give as much as they can, but there’s an unconscious feeling of stagnation (no progress).
The truth is, the narcissist is a False Self, who lives in a false reality (created by their ego). They don’t believe there’s anything wrong with them in any way, therefore there’s nothing to be healed, fixed or developed.
They only play the victim in order to control and manipulate the empath, however, the empath is so innocent that they don’t see the deceit. They continue trying to help and heal the narcissist’s issues, totally unaware of the fact that the narcissist has no desire to be ‘fixed.’
The empath operates from unconditional love, but the narcissist is a conscienceless person, unable to experience love at all. The narcissist operates from greed and a self-serving agenda.
Stage 6: Trapped
It starts to become clear on a conscious and subconscious level that the relationship is all about the narcissist. Everything is always about what the narcissist needs, wants and chooses.
The empath will feel too afraid to voice any of their own concerns, wants or desires to the narcissist, even though they don’t understand why they’re afraid.
The narcissist will underhandedly use shame, guilt and devaluation to minimise the empath’s concerns because ultimately, everything must be about them (the narc). They are training the empath to dispel their own needs in place of the narcissist’s needs in every instance.
The empath doesn’t realise that they’re handing their power over the narcissist, every step of the way.
They learn that pointing out any of the narcissist’s hurtful behaviours is just not safe.
The empath is now living in a fairly constant state of anxiety and isn’t at all happy in the relationship. However, they don’t want to hurt the narcissist’s feelings, so they continue to appease them.
Stage 7: Trauma Bonding
The empath hands more and more energy over to the narcissist in the form of love, attention, loyalty, care and compassion. Subconsciously, the empath is seeking the love, validation and approval that the narcissist pretended to promise at the beginning of the relationship.
Through these steps of a narcissist relationship, more life force energy is funnelled into the narc, which strengthens their False Self and delusional reality.
Along with that, the more the empath hands over to the narcissist, the more control the narcissist has over them. The narcissist actively withholds the very things the empath seeks in order to emotionally control them.
They will intermittently use punishing techniques to keep the empath in a constant state of anxiety. Then the narcissist will breadcrumb a dismal amount of attention, affection or communication back to the empath, which provides the empath relief from their anxiety.
Throughout this cycle, the empath’s chemical body learns that the narcissist is the one who relieves their pain, regardless of the fact that they were the very person to have caused the pain in the first place.
| READ: 7 Stages of a Trauma Bond → |
Stage 8: Resistance
The next part in these 21 stages of a narcissist relationship is where the empath feels so broken and pushed into a corner. They can’t bear how the narcissist is treating them any more, so they speak up.
In the narcissist’s world, everything was floating along just perfectly. The empath was giving them copious amounts of attention and energy, while the narcissist was being filled up and getting what they wanted.
The narcissist didn’t expect this push-back from the empath and they do not like it one bit. In fact, this turn of events threatens the narcissist’s whole position.
The narcissist refuses to accept responsibility for any flaws in themselves as this goes directly against their false reality of self-perfection.
You see, the narcissist’s ego is extremely fragile and they simply cannot accept criticism on any level. Having the empath call them out or speak up about how they’re feeling is seen by the narcissist’s ego as a direct attack against their false persona.
So instead, the narcissist will project all of their disowned parts and awful behaviour back onto the empath and expect the empath to carry their pain. The empath is not at all happy in the relationship and is now seeing that the narcissist is not who they seemed to be in the beginning.
Stage 9: Never Satisfied
What the empath doesn’t understand is that the narcissist is never satisfied. They think that if they just love a little harder and give a little more, then they’ll finally be enough for the narcissist.
The continuously shifting goalposts keep the empath running on an endless treadmill, trying to constantly be more and do more for the narcissist. All of this feeds the narcissist’s ego as it makes them feel incredibly powerful and important.
However, the narcissist’s need for attention and energy can never truly be satiated.
When the narcissist severed the connection with their True Self, they were left with an empty black void, deep inside themselves. That gaping hole is the result of their choice to disown their wounding, which now causes huge feelings of self-loathing, disgust and unworthiness.
The only way for the narcissist to alleviate that pain was to put their ego in charge. In order for the ego to protect the narcissist from the truth (that they are a flawed human being), it creates a delusional reality. In this reality, the narcissist believes that they truly are superior, amazing and perfect.
The problem is, for their illusion to exist, they need it to be constantly validated by the outside world. This validation comes in the form of attention (good and bad), which they endlessly seek from other people.
As soon as the attention wanes, the narcissist spirals down into that pit of self-loathing and will cause an outburst in order to make themselves the centre of the empath’s universe again.
The empath is left feeling like they’re never enough because the narcissist can never be truly satisfied. Their empty void is a bottomless pit, which can never be filled. It sucks in the light and goodness from other souls to feed itself, but happiness is an impossibility.
Stage 10: Further into the Web
Next, in the 21 stages of a narcissistic relationship with an empath, the narcissist hooks the empath further into their web of abuse.
When the empath finally gets the courage to talk to the narcissist about how they’re feeling, the narcissist will totally minimise and invalidate them.
They’ll use phrases like:
- “You’re crazy, maybe you need to get some help.”
- “You’re being a bit sensitive, don’t you think?”
- “I’m all good, so you must be the one with the problem.”
- “You’ve got issues.”
- “That’s not on me, it’s because of your childhood.”
The idea is to manipulate the empath’s experiences and memories in order to emotionally control the empath.
The narcissist doesn’t see anything wrong with the relationship, they’re getting what they want, right? And they can’t possibly bear any responsibility for their behaviours, so they’ll twist it all back around onto the empath.
Stage 11: Emotional Abuse
The empath takes all of the narcissist’s words on like daggers to the heart. While the narcissist is incapable of being accountable for themselves, the empath excels in this arena.
They believe that there must truly be something wrong with them for being so unhappy. They’ll take on all of the relationship problems as their own and blame themselves for everything.
The empath will feel as though they just aren’t good enough or even loveable.
Stage 12: Gaslighting
By this point, the narcissist is regularly gaslighting the empath to the point where this dynamic has become completely normal. The empath has no idea that they are being manipulated and abused by the narcissist on an emotional and spiritual level.
The narcissist keeps working to erode the empath’s sense of self-worth and identity. The empath no longer trusts their own instincts or perception of reality. They have even lost their ability to make their own firm decisions without ‘needing’ the narcissist’s approval.
This is all done through the narcissist constantly berating and invalidating the empath so that they no longer trust themselves to “do the right thing” any more.
| READ: 100+ Gaslighting Examples → |
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Stage 13: Blame-shifting
The next nail in the coffin with these 21 stages of a narcissist relationship with an empath is the blame-shifting and projection.
Any time the empath tries to voice any concerns, the narcissist will immediately twist everything around and put it all back onto the empath.
The one time the empath tries to get their needs met, the narcissist will throw at them, “God, everything always has to be about you, doesn’t it?!”
The narcissist’s ego cannot take on any blame, as that threatens their entire false reality of being special, superior and perfect.
So, to cope with the attack, their ego superimposes the very things that they are doing, back onto the empath. Now, the narcissist actually believes that the empath is doing all of those things because that’s the reality their delusional self is seeing.
This is how they justify their storyline of the empath being the perpetrator, while they (the narcissist) are always the victim.
| READ: Narcissist Blame-shifting → |
Stage 14: Withdrawing
Nothing is ever the narcissist’s fault and the empath has learnt that it’s not even safe to go there or talk about any of it.
The empath will withdraw further into themselves, feeling intensely sad, lost and wounded. The biggest part of this stage of a narcissist relationship is confusion.
“How did I end up here?”
“What’s wrong with me?”
“Why doesn’t my partner treat me well like other people’s partners do?”
“Why is my partner so selfish?”
“Why do I feel so sad and anxious all the time?”
The empath doesn’t want to rock the boat or do anything to upset the narcissist. Their sensitive nervous system isn’t coping well with the instability of the narcissist.
The empath is in survival mode and walking on eggshells, because they can never anticipate when the narcissist will punish them with rage, belittling, guilt trips and silent treatments.
The empath may even rationalise what’s going on in the relationship as normal because they simply don’t understand it. Their loving open-hearted nature cannot comprehend the narcissist’s hot/ cold behaviour.
Stage 15: Recognition
At some point, the empath will realise the truth about the narcissist. This will often come after many years or decades of going through the narcissist’s abuse cycle, over and over again.
It may take a catalyst event or having the information delivered to them through a random synchronicity, but somehow the empath will wake up when they are finally ready.
For the empath, the realisation that the entire empath and narcissist relationship was a complete lie all along, is absolutely devastating.
The most soul-crushing experience for the empath is recognising the truth that the narcissist never truly loved them at all. They were only ever using and manipulating the empath for control and to mine them for their energy and resources.
A big part of this stage of a narcissist relationship is recognising that not everyone is capable of unconditional love, just as they are.
The empath has to accept that the narcissist doesn’t have a conscience but is a fantastic manipulator and actor, which had them hoodwinked for a very long time.
Stage 16: Healing
Now it’s time for the empath to start their true healing journey.
There are many layers of trauma to be sorted through and the empath has to finally learn to give to themselves first, instead of always giving to everyone else.
Self-care and self-love become essential for the empath’s survival as they move through the final few stages of a narcissist relationship.
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Stage 17: Acknowledgement of Abuse
Once the empath realises that they were actually the victim at the hands of the narcissist’s abuse the whole way along, it’s a game changer!
Suddenly, the empath steps into a place filled with righteous anger. They now have the clarity to see that the narcissist never deserved any of their love, attention, energy or resources.
Stage 18: Taking the Power Back
For the empath to have full clarity on who the narcissist truly is, it creates a pivotal moment in the empath and narcissist relationship.
The empath has to painfully come to terms with the fact that the narcissist can and never will change. There was no amount of love or attention the empath could have given the narcissist for them to have been healed. The only element in this situation that can change is the empath’s involvement with the narcissist.
But through this truth, which can feel absolutely devastating for the empath, comes strength. The empath is finally able to start taking their power back from the narcissist.
Stage 19: Discard
At this stage of a narcissist relationship, a discard is imminent. Either the narcissist or the empath will discard the other, but the outcomes are fairly similar.
If the narcissist realises that the empath is strengthening and wising up to them, they will discard the empath first, so as to retain the position of power.
Or, if the narcissist wants to keep the empath in their cycle of abuse, the empath will have to leave the narcissist in order to break free.
Being discarded by or leaving a narcissist will be one of the hardest things the empath will ever have to endure. Quite often the fallout is harder than the abusive relationship.
During the relationship, the empath is busy surviving day by day. Once they leave, they will feel like they’ve been shattered into a million pieces and are too broken to go on.
Stage 20: New Supply
The narcissist cannot psychologically function without a steady stream of narcissistic supply, so they will move on very quickly to a new source.
No break-up with a narcissist is easy. Regardless of how things play out, the narcissist will forever see the empath as an item that they own and will still want to keep them on the shelf for future supply.
It’s important for the empath to resist all hoovers from the narcissist and remain strong within themselves.
Anything that the narcissist throws at the empath (whether negative or positive) at this point is a trick to get them back into their toxic web.
It’s important here for the empath to hold firm boundaries against the narcissist and go ‘no contact,’ or ‘low contact’ if there’s property, work or children involved.
However, if the narcissist is completely done with the empath, they’ll move on to a new relationship in record time, without giving the empath another thought.
This is extremely triggering for the empath as they cannot compute how someone who supposedly loved them could replace them so quickly.
Stage 21: Coming Home
The biggest lesson learnt through the 21 stages of a narcissist relationship is how easily the empath willingly handed their power over to the narcissist.
The gift from the empath and narcissist relationship is for the empath to truly come home to themselves and their own inner being.
Finally, the empath realises that the only true source of love, validation, security and survival comes from within. They had the power all along, through their own connection with the divine and their Higher Selves.
They never needed the narcissist for anything, it was always the other way around!
The empath realises that they have their own direct access to the abundant life force energy and that’s exactly what the narcissist wanted to get their greedy hands on.
Never again will the empath hand their power over to anybody else, especially a dark soul, who’s nothing more than a devil in disguise.
Through this painful journey, the empath had to recognise how powerful they truly are and that they need to be selective with whom they are vulnerable and help on this planet. Not everyone is as pure and conscious as they are.
Posts About Narcissists & Empaths
- How Narcissists Destroy Empaths
- Can An Empath Be a Narcissist?
- Are Narcissists Afraid of Empaths?
- 21 Stages of a Narcissist & Empath Relationship
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Powerful . . . it resonates, though my experience was not in a romantic relationship. T/he narcissist was/is my “father.” It’s hard to learn to see things as they are . . . and care for myself, as I always have for others.
My mom tried to be “christlike” and gave and gave to my “father,” hoping that christ would one day make it all nice. Of course, he never did, and she passed, never having known herself or her children, or truly living.
Mom, we are trying to be valuable to ourselves, now. If you are aware of us, still, please support is in becoming real, and bringing the horrific sham of a “family” to an end.
Thanks for sharing a piece of your story John. It’s so difficult when the narcissist is a parent, which I can fully resonate with, having a narcissistic mother. I can also sympathise with your Mum because I too thought it was my job to love my narcissistic husband unconditionally (not knowing that that’s what he was). As girls and then women, we’re primed from eons of programming to be martyrs and carers regardless of how poorly we’re being treated. I was once told that God/ the universe doesn’t reward self-sacrifice. All it does is lower our self-worth and bring more of the same.
The comforting thing is that we all partake in a Life Review once we pass over. So, this means that your Mum would have had the chance to see the truth about your Dad and what her kids are trying to achieve in ending the cycle. I’m sure you now have her full support. It also means that when your father passes over, he will finally feel and understand just how his words and actions have affected those around him. He will be left with the karmic balance of that to sort out for himself on a soul level.
We are all here to learn that we have a responsibility to ourselves to be free and happy, regardless of those around us who only know how to survive by parasitically draining the lifeforce energy of others. I reckon you’re on the right track to breaking generations of negative issues.