It’s no accident that many of those who are on a conscious journey of coming home to their true authentic self also have a tangled history with narcissists. This is by design.
We live on a free-will planet where both light and dark exist. Yet, it’s often through darkness that we are able to find the light. No one said Earth incarnations were going to be easy, however, the massive leaps in soul growth that can be experienced are second to none.
Let’s talk about the higher purpose behind narcissism and spiritual awakening. Little did the narcissist know that they were handing you the keys to your freedom all along!
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Who is the Narcissist, Really?
How the Narcissist Came to Be
During the narcissist’s childhood, they experienced trauma that left them feeling deeply defective, unworthy and shame-filled. The trauma could have been neglect (emotional and/ or physical), abuse, or even prolonged excessive pampering.
Whatever the case, the child was left with such intense feelings of abandonment and rejection that they simply could not bear the devastating emotions that came along with that.
On an unconscious level, they said, “No! I refuse to feel these things.” So, they cut off the part of themselves that was responsible for having them feel all of the deep wounding that they could not bear to acknowledge.
Amputation of Their True Self
The child subconsciously amputated their True Self since that is the part of us that allows us to feel the full range of human emotion on an authentic level. Through these emotions, we are also able to feel our deep inner wounding, which was the aspect the child could not stand.
However, when the child killed off their True Self, they were inadvertently left with only their ego to run the show. The ego rubbed its hands together in glee since there is nothing more the ego loves than power and control.
This was the birth of the narcissist.
The Ego Now Rules
The ego was given full reign and completely inverted the narcissist’s reality, creating a fantasy world for them to live the rest of their life in. In this fantasy, the narcissist’s ego now has them believing that they are special, superior and perfect.
On a deeper level, when they unconsciously chose the narcissistic path, they underwent a psychological split. Their fantasy reality is not just dreaming or wishful thinking, they genuinely believe that their new reality is ‘real.’
The ego knows that for it to remain the ruler of their life, it needs to hide the truth from the narcissist at all costs. The truth is that they are a flawed and imperfect human being, just like the rest of us.
Now, for the narcissist’s psychological survival, this fantasy, whereby they are a God who sits at the centre of the universe, must always be reflected back to them as absolute truth.
Keeping the Delusion Afloat
The problem with the narcissist’s projected delusion is that there’s nothing tangible or authentic about it at all. It’s merely a figment of their imagination.
So, the only way to make sure that their delusion stays in place is to get constant validation from the world around them that, “Yes, your perfect reality really is ‘real.'”
Narcissists need to spend their whole lives seeking attention, admiration and approval because those are the things that keep their fantasy alive.
On the flip side, for the ego to protect the narcissist from the truth that they’re not perfect, special or superior, it cannot allow in any evidence that would suggest otherwise.
So, anyone who tries to hold the narcissist accountable for their negative behaviour will be shot down in flames. Any criticism is evidence that the narcissist is not perfect or godlike and the ego cannot allow that information to penetrate the fantasy. Otherwise, the whole thing will be revealed as the sham that it is and the narcissist will be exposed as nothing but a deeply insecure child who’s filled with shame, self-loathing and disgust.
Pillaging Life Force Energy
For a deeper look at what the narcissist is all about we need to go back to the severing of their True Self.
You see, our True Self is responsible for more than just experiencing a full range of human emotions, it’s our connection to our Higher Self and the divine creator (whatever that means for you).
Our True Self is what gives us access to an unlimited amount of life force energy. It’s through this abundance that we are able to be our own source of security, survival, unconditional love and validation. By having access to untapped life force energy we can heal up our inner wounding and step into a place of high self-love.
So, when the narcissist killed off their True Self, to the point of no resuscitation, they cut off their own access to life force energy.
Firstly, this means that they have forgone the ability to heal up their inner wounding in this lifetime and experience the soul growth that comes with that.
Secondly, it means that they have zero capacity to be their own source of security, survival, love or validation. In fact, they don’t actually have the means to experience love at all now, whether giving or receiving.
Thirdly, the place where the True Self once sat is now an empty black hole. So, rather than being an abundant resource of energy, it’s now an empty void that sucks up all energy like a vacuum, never to be seen again.
Not only has the narcissist lost a valuable resource, but they’re left with a gaping hole offering nothing but feelings of absolute disgust, self-loathing, shame and rejection. After everything the narcissist went through to disown such dark emotions, they’ve only just made things worse.
Now, the only way to abate that darkness is to keep feeding it life force energy, which they now have to steal from others. But, the relief they feel with each feed is only ever temporary. As with any black hole, it can never be filled.
The problem is that no one’s going to willingly hand over their life force energy to an empty black hole, so the narcissist must manipulate people into handing it over instead.
This is the purpose of narcissistic supply and getting people’s attention focussed on them. Every time you focus your energy on a narcissist (whether positive or negative attention), you are inadvertently handing over your life force energy to them, while they kick back with a smirk on their face.
| READ: How Narcissistic Supply Works → |
Narcissism & Spiritual Awakening
Now that you’ve got a deeper understanding of who the narcissist really is, let’s take a look at the purpose behind narcissism and spiritual awakening.
It’s obvious now that narcissists have condemned themselves to the life of a predator. They have no ability to be their own source to fulfil their needs, so they must steal supplies from others in order to survive.
So, they rely on being able to manipulate and hoodwink vulnerable and trusting souls into willingly handing over their resources.
Enter the Codependent
Codependents are people who have a very low sense of self and seek security, survival, love and validation from outside of themselves. This is generally a result of their childhood environment where they needed to appease their caregivers in some way in order to have their needs met. They were not allowed to form healthy boundaries as a matter of survival.
People who have a strong sense of self are much less likely to fall prey to the manipulations of a narcissist, because they are their own source of self-worth and validation. These people generally grew up in environments that were much healthier and more supportive of the child creating healthy boundaries.
Narcissists seek out people who are prone to handing their power to those outside of themselves, because they’re much easier to manipulate into handing over their life force energy. In other words, codependents and those with low boundary function are easy targets.
The Ripping Open of Your Wounds
The most effective way for the narcissist to plug into someone else and have access to their life force energy on tap is to hit them where it hurts the most.
The narcissist will expertly locate your deepest wounds, rip them open and pour salt into them. The purpose is to extract such heavy emotions and reactions out of you, that you hand all of your power over to the narcissist, making them extremely powerful and relevant. All the while, they’re siphoning out your life force energy straight into their black hole.
Narcissists are energetic drug addicts always on the hunt for their next big fat hit, which is why they can often appear to be ‘getting off’ on your pain – because they truly are.
How Does the Narcissist Find the Wounds?
During the initial phase where the narcissist was getting to know you, they were actually studying you and collecting your data.
The purpose of the love-bombing was to hook you in and gain your trust as quickly as possible. By mirroring you they were able to reflect back to you the very person you so desperately needed and desired. Through the intense bonding, you felt like you’d finally found the person you’d spent your whole life looking for, which had you opening up to them and sharing your deepest darkest secrets.
Right from the very beginning, the narcissist was manipulating you into handing over the key to your resources without you even realising what you were doing.
People with high self-worth are not looking for someone outside of themselves to be their source of security or love and they know that it takes a healthy amount of time to get to know someone properly. They will resist the narcissist trying to push through their boundaries and speed things up, because it will just feel ‘off’ to them.
Those with low self-worth and codependency are the opposite. They are looking for someone to come in and be all of the things that they’ve been looking for their whole lives. They willingly let the narcissist in, thinking that this person is their saviour. The narcissist happily goes along with this charade and promises them the world, knowing that saying the right words is all they need to do to have this person eating out of their hands.
Once the narcissist knows they’ve got you hooked, the abuse cycle can begin because they know you’re not going anywhere. This is when they’ll start to devalue you to further erode your self-worth and subsequently take on the narcissist’s unhealed wounds that they refuse to acknowledge.
With the data they collected in the beginning, plus extra pieces they learn about you along the way, they are always storing away any information that can be used against you. This is how they continuously reinforce their fantasy of being a powerful God all while extracting your life force energy.
The smaller you get from their abuse, the larger they become and the less ability you have to abandon them and take away their supply. You’re nothing more than a full-time source of life force energy for them to plug into.
| READ: Full Cycle of Narcissistic Abuse → |
Escaping the Narcissist
Narcissists are so clever at keeping their victims in a fog, that it’s hard to see beyond them or even recognise the abuse for what it is. They keep you in a state of anxiety, only able to deal with the day-to-day survival.
A devastating part of being entwined with a narcissist is the creation of a trauma bond. This is where the narcissist keeps you addicted and loyal to them through intermittent reinforcement. They will dish out punishments for behaviour they don’t like, then randomly give ‘rewards’ for compliant behaviour. This keeps their victim in a perpetual state of anxiety, never knowing when they’ll be punished or rewarded, so they will always try to act in a way that appeases the narcissist in the hope of receiving a reward, which is the only way to relieve their anxiety.
| READ: 7 Trauma Bond Stages → |
What’s really happening is that the narcissist is programming you into going along with their fantasy reality.
Over time, you do inadvertently enter the narcissist’s fantasy and begin to believe it as well. It’s the only way to exist within the narcissist’s world.
Escaping the delusion becomes extremely difficult unless you’ve got people around you who can help to give you some healthy perspective. This is a big reason why narcissists work to erode people’s support systems and isolate them, because they know that others can quickly become the enemy of their fantasy.
Everyone’s story of how they were able to escape the narcissist is different. For some, it was being so energetically depleted that there was nothing left in them to give. Quite often in this case the narcissist will discard you in place of another soul who is fully topped up and ready to go.
| READ: Signs of a Narcissist Discard → |
For me, my higher self had to set up a catalyst event because that was the only thing that could wake me up from the situation. My self-worth was so dismally low that I could not find my way out of the narcissist’s delusion.
When your divine team knows it’s time for the narcissism and spiritual awakening to occur, they will pull out all the stops to ensure that it happens. For those who are not yet ready, the cycle will continue, whether it’s with the same character or multiple people dressed up differently, but delivering the same behaviour.
Spiritual Lessons of Narcissism
A massive part of narcissism and spiritual awakening is in having that person so clearly shine a spotlight on all of your inner wounds. To truly transcend our deepest wounds, we must meet them first.
However, most of us wander through life, blind to what the actual root of our traumas are. When you’re enmeshed with a narcissist, they expertly locate all of those wounds to use against you for personal gain.
Little does the narcissist know, they are giving you the keys to your own ascension far beyond their fantasy realm.
Here are the true spiritual lessons behind dealing with narcissism, which once realised and worked through, will lead you to the most beautiful, peaceful and happy life on the other side.
STEP 1: Heal Your Wounds
The first lesson in narcissism and spiritual awakening is to step out of the victimhood of “He said, she said.” Take ownership of all of the things the narcissist has triggered within you, then work on healing each of them, one by one.
Once there is nothing left to trigger you with, you’ll effectively disarm the narcissist by taking away their ammunition.
STEP 2: Take Your Power Back
The most effective way to truly learn the dangers of handing your power to somebody else is to experience it in the most devastating way possible.
The second lesson from narcissism and spiritual awakening is in no longer handing your power over to any source outside of yourself.
You must learn to protect your energy and accept that there are negative energies on this planet. Not everyone is good at heart, nor does everyone automatically deserve your compassion and empathy.
STEP 3: Becoming Self-sufficient
The third and super exciting part of narcissism and spiritual awakening is where you become so self-sufficient, many of your old codependent ways start to fall away.
You are now the sole provider of your own security, survival, love and validation.
By fulfilling all of your own needs from within, you stop searching for another person to fill your gaps. This means that narcissists won’t be able to manipulate you by falsely promising things that they never intend to deliver.
STEP 4: Transformation into a Sovereign Being
The final and most empowering lesson of narcissism and spiritual awakening is making the full transformation into a sovereign being. Now you are so strong within your self and you are the provider of all of your own needs, no narcissist or manipulator will ever be able to access your life force energy again.
The beauty of narcissism and spiritual awakening is that once you’ve healed your wounds, they have nothing left to manipulate you with. That is how you truly ‘win.’
Spiritual Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
The only way that I was able to truly heal from a lifetime of narcissistic abuse and Complex PTSD (first from a parent, then a husband for almost two decades) was through spiritual healing.
Every fortnight for 4 months I worked with Selena Hill, an experienced medium and energy worker, to remove the old stuck traumas from my energetic body. This included wounding from this lifetime, but more importantly, traumas that have accumulated over many past lives. She called in the help of the angelic realm and my divine team to shift things that I could never have dealt with in my 3D life.
If this is something that resonates with you, you can find more information below.
Energetic Healing from
Narcissistic Abuse
If you’ve tried everything to heal but still can’t shift things, it might be time to call in the spiritual realm.
✭ Removal of stuck energy
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✭ Psychic mediumship
✭ Ask your guides questions & get direct answers
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www.selenahill.com →
For those who aren’t called to spiritual healing, I highly recommend seeking out a good therapist who’s experienced with the effects of narcissism. It may be a slower process than the spiritual route, but it will help you to step into your power and transcend the narcissist nonetheless.
All the best with your journey to freedom.
▶️ VIDEO: Narcissism & Spiritual Awakening
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