The narcissist and empath relationship is a unique dynamic where the dark and the light aspects of humanness are attracted to each other like a moth to a flame.
However, it is also one of the most toxic relationship dynamics to have to endure.
Luckily for the empath, there is learning and growth at the end of the darkness, however, the narcissist is destined to remain stuck in their own destructive cycle until death.
This raises the question, are narcissists afraid of empaths? In short, yes, they can be once the empath reaches a certain point in their evolution. Let’s dig deeper to find out why.
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Narcissists & Empaths
Who is the Narcissist?
The narcissist was created through a circumstance of childhood trauma. This may have been through neglect (physical or emotional), abuse, a traumatising event or excessive pandering, giving them an unhealthy entitled perspective of themselves.
This childhood trauma left them with deep inner feelings of shame and self-loathing, which was too much to bear for them.
As a trauma response, they unconsciously decided to permanently detach their True Self, as it was the piece of them responsible for being made to feel all of their painful wounding.
The narcissist felt they needed to completely amputate their trauma as a matter of psychological survival.
By cutting off their True Self, they also cut off the connection with the divine source creator. It’s via this access that allows us to feel unconditional love, empathy, compassion and kindness.
In other words, the narcissist cut off their conscience.
The narcissist didn’t realise that they were trading in their True Self for an empty black hole. Nor did they realise that this black hole would vibrate out even greater feelings of disgust and shame, since there’s nothing authentic left inside of them.
The only way for the narcissist to move through life now was by letting their ego take charge. Since the ego is nothing but a ‘no self,’ which can be usurped at any time, it knows that for its own survival, it needs to hide the narcissist from the truth of who they are. A scared, vulnerable and defective person who is not special at all.
To do this, the ego assembled a False Self, based on being perfect, superior and God-like. The ego, being the narcissist’s new master, tricks them into believing that their False Self is who they really are.
For the ego to keep this False Self alive, it built a complete fantasy world to go with it. In the narcissist’s fantasy reality, they are a God, who sits in the centre of their universe. Everyone else in their world are simply pawns for them to push around, use, abuse and discard as they see fit.
As far as the narcissist is concerned, other living creatures are just there for them to extract resources from.
The problem with this whole strategy is that their fantasy is nothing but a deception, made up by the ego. So, the only way for the deception to stay real is to receive uninterrupted validation from the outside world that they really are as superior, special and entitled as they think they are. This is known as narcissistic supply.
Examples of narcissistic supply:
- Being admired & receiving compliments
- Creating drama to feel powerful
- Playing the victim to extract sympathy & attention
- Controlling & manipulating people
- Sex
- Fame & infamy
- Appearing successful with finances, relationships, career & material wealth
| READ: How Narcissistic Supply Works → |
The narcissist’s ego maintains the fantasy by seeking out narcissistic supply like a drug addict.
However, if people knew that by enabling the narcissist they were allowing them to siphon out their precious life force energy, they would never agree. Hence, like a devil in disguise, the narcissist must manipulate, coerce and trick people into doing it.
For the psychological survival of the narcissist, their delusion must be continuously fed.
Without constant feedback from the world around them that their False Self and fantasy reality is ‘true,’ it will quickly begin to dissolve, leaving the narcissist to fall into their own inner void. The narcissist will stop at nothing to prevent that from happening since they are a conscienceless being.
Who is the Empath?
The trademark sign of an empath is that they were born with the unique gift of being able to feel the emotions of other people as they would their own.
Some empaths are also Highly Sensitive empaths, with the addition of a hypersensitive nervous system. This means that they can also feel the pain of others within their own bodies as if that pain were their own.
Since empaths have the ability to feel such high levels of empathy, a natural by-product is to also feel high levels of compassion towards others.
Empaths can easily see beyond people’s words and facades, naturally picking up on what’s truly going on inside.
Empaths feel like they want to heal everyone or at least help them ease their pain. Due to their extra attentive and ‘feeling’ nature, they end up being over-givers. Unaware empaths are even more prone to over-giving, because they haven’t yet learnt that it’s not their job to ‘fix’ everyone else, nor does everyone have their best interests at heart.
Narcissists and manipulators will use the empath’s compassion against them, over and over again.
What the empath doesn’t realise is that the underlying reason for wanting to solve everyone else’s problems is really just to grant themselves relief from having to feel so much. This is particularly common when the empath is not yet able to discern between what is their own energy and what is not.
Are Narcissists Afraid of Empaths?
When the Narcissist Loves the Empath
Narcissists absolutely love empaths for their kind and giving nature. Not because they value those things, oh no. But because they can so easily gain the empath’s trust and use their kindness to manipulate them into doing what they want and handing over their resources.
The narcissist loves seeing their false reflection in the empath’s kind eyes.
They love that the empath believes their fake facade and validates it for them.
They love what the empath gives to them.
They love what the empath does for them.
They love how easily the empath allows them to plug into their life force energy.
They love how much the empath trusts them despite their deception and lies.
More than anything, they love that the empath is there to serve them with unwavering loyalty.
All of these things they gain from the unaware empath who is just doing their best to be a good person and help other people.
Once the narcissist and empath relationship progresses, the empath slowly begins to lose themselves to the narcissist’s abuse, without even being aware of what’s happening.
Over time, the empath ends up living each day in survival mode, always trying to either ‘fix’ the narcissist or get back to how things were in the beginning. They don’t understand why the narcissist is now so cruel when all they’re trying to do is help them be better.
The empath is constantly trying to appeal to the narcissist’s moral sense, not realising that they destroyed their conscience long ago.
The more the narcissist pushes them away with their punishments and then pulls them back in for more abuse, the more pieces of themselves the empath hands over, all in the hopes of things getting better.
The narcissist loves that they are the empath’s puppet master. They love that they’ve got a constant stream of life force energy as well as a willing party to dump all of their unhealed wounds onto.
When the Narcissist Fears the Empath
The narcissist is sitting so smug, upon their throne of deceit, that they underestimate the empath.
Their arrogance has them believing they’ve got the empath for life (or until they’re completely depleted and can be discarded and traded in for a freshly topped-up supply).
What the narcissist doesn’t count on is the empath finally cottoning on to the truth of the narcissist.
This may not come until many years of going through the narcissist’s abuse cycle, over and over again. And it may not even come until after the empath has been discarded by the narcissist.
Sometimes it will even take a catalyst event, set up by the universe. But, somehow the empath will wake up when they are finally ready.
For the empath, the realisation that the entire relationship was nothing but a big fraud all along, is absolutely devastating.
The most soul-crushing experience for the empath is recognising the truth that the narcissist never truly loved them at all. They were only ever using them to pilfer their energy and resources.
The empath must accept that the narcissist doesn’t have a conscience and is nothing but a masterful manipulator, who had them conned for a very long time.
If you’ve been wondering are narcissists afraid of empaths, then yes, this is the pivotal moment where the power can shift.
As the empath works through their deep pain from being so utterly betrayed by the narcissist, that pain begins to fuel their self-righteous anger. This anger helps to give them the strength they need to untangle themselves from the narcissist’s web of lies.
Once the empath can finally see beyond the fog they’ve been living in, they are able to see right through the narcissist’s mask to who they truly are. Not who they thought they were as a result of the manipulations and guilt, which the narcissist used to play on the empath’s kindness and compassion.
Now the empath is hurt and angry at having their compassion weaponised against them. They know now that there was no amount of love that could have fixed the narcissist.
The empath goes through the gruelling process of extracting themselves from the narcissist and endures more abuse as the narcissist’s ego works to annihilate them. The narcissist can feel that the empath is growing in strength and they are afraid of the empath blowing their flimsy house of cards down.
The narcissist is deeply afraid that the empath will publicly expose them, shining a light on the truth of what lies beneath their mask.
Once the empath pulls all of their energy back from the narcissist and cuts off their supply, the narcissist is deeply afraid. They have lost complete control over the empath and can feel the shift when the empath becomes aware of who they really are underneath their facade.
As the empath now prioritises pouring all of that energy into healing their own wounds, they grow stronger. Before long, there are no wounds left for the narcissist to rip open and trigger them with. All of the narcissist’s ammunition has disappeared.
Without the empath’s wounding and blind trust, there is nothing that the narcissist can control them with anymore.
But the one thing that makes the narcissist afraid of the empath more than anything is their authenticity.
Narcissists are a false, no-self. There is not a speck of authenticity within them and that is one thing they cannot replicate or fake. Yet, it comes as the most natural thing in the world to the empath.
The narcissist knows, on an unconscious level, that the empath’s pure authenticity is enough to shine a light on them and completely expose them.
The darkness cannot hide in the light.
Ultimately, narcissists are afraid of empaths when they fully step into their power and rise to a vibration higher than what they could ever dream of.
▶️ VIDEO: Are Narcissists Afraid of Empaths?
Posts About Narcissists & Empaths
- 21 Stages of a Narcissist & Empath Relationship
- How Narcissists Destroy Empaths
- Can An Empath Be a Narcissist?
- Are Narcissists Afraid of Empaths?
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